“The exercises of practical life are formative activities, a work of adaptation to the environment. Such adaptation to the environment and efficient functioning therein is the very essence of a useful education.”-Maria Montessori
If you walked into a Montessori classroom, you would see many children going about their work. Some would be doing counting, some language, some sensorial, and some would be completing practical life works. Obviously, our home is not a classroom, so we don’t have some of the staples of Montessori practical life. I do however try to follow the spirit of Maria Montessori’s approach in all of the areas of our home. We have a small “practical life” section of the classroom that has a few works so the children can practice scooping or pouring or using tongs, but most of their practical life experiences come from actual life lived in our home. One thing that Montessori has taught me is how much children are truly capable of, so while we don’t have polishing baskets, the kids do help Mark polish his shoes for work when he needs to.
Our family principle is that everyone in the family helps as much as he or she is able. It’s simple enough, and so far we have had very little, “but he doesn’t have to!” push back from Gianna about the difference in expectations between her and William. That could all change of course, but for now, they accept the premise of the motto quite willingly. Gianna is proud of acknowledge that she is capable of carefully clearing dinner dishes, a chore William does not do yet.
We have tried to set up our home in such a way that the kids are able to do as much for themselves as possible. Maria Montessori wrote extensively about the prepared environment in the classroom, and I have found it to be just as important in the home. Does my house always look as pristine as a classroom? Absolutely not. Far from it. But, I have spent a great deal of time and effort to arrange things to allow for independence and problem solving.
In the bedroom, we opted for cube shelves instead of traditional dressers (these had the added benefit of being less expensive). Each child has a basket for each type of clothes- pjs, underwear and socks, sweaters, shirts, pants, etc. This means that with a very little bit of help, they can put their own laundry away by simply putting it in the correct basket. (I should note, I don’t expect their laundry to stay folded, and my kids are often wrinkled.) It also means that they are easily able to choose their own outfits. Gianna is completely proficient at both tasks, while William still needs some direction when it comes to putting laundry away.
With a couple of quick tweaks, our kitchen was easy to make kid-friendly. We have a little hutch in the kitchen (a thrift store find years ago) that contains all of the small plates, bowls, and cups they regularly use. It also houses Gianna’s small vases (she is very fond of flowers) and the kids’ water bottles. This way, they are able to get their own bowls and plates for meals. G and Will love making sandwiches for lunch, so Mark had the fabulous idea to convert one of our vegetable drawers into a sandwich-supply-drawer. Instead of fruits and veggies, it now holds lunch meat, mustard, mayo, and cheeses. The kids know just where to look to get all that they need to make their sandwich. Snacks and fruit are also placed on the shelf at their level, so that even though they must ask before they snack, they can get it out themselves. We use the same principle for Gram’s snacks and drinks- eye level and clearly visible mean that she’s more likely to choose healthy and nutritious options.
Cleaning products that are safe for them to use are likewise accessible. They have a small broom and dustpan, and there are dishrags and napkins readily available for spills. They take such pride in being helpful that they are very likely to offer to clean up after you if you were to spill something.
Chores in our house are a family affair. I have found that it helps to invite my children into the task that I’m doing, whether it be vacuuming or mopping, cleaning or washing. It may mean that my jobs around the house take twice as long and are done half as thoroughly, but my kids are learning that they are capable, and more importantly, that they are expected to contribute. They are too young to expect them to complete most tasks without close supervision, so if we’re cleaning up toys or getting ready to vacuum, they aren’t doing it alone. They do however, understand that if I find that I’m the one doing all the work, their toys will go into the “I’m sorry” basket. As in, “I’m sorry bud, but you’ve lost that toy until you’ve earned it back by being helpful.” If they tidy up and help without complaint, they are allowed to choose a toy from the basket to take back out.
We use TONS of positive reinforcement and lots of hugs when they cheerfully help us with tasks and make sure that they are aware of how grateful we are and what a difference their work makes to our family. They are at an age where helping is a big deal, and the pride on their faces is beautiful to see when they realize that they have contributed something to the good of others. And honest to goodness, after a few clumsy attempts, most of the time they do a bang up job. Gianna can steam mop a floor as well as I can, and William is remarkably thorough with the vacuum for a two year old.
Our goal is to instill a habit of helping in our children that will carry them past the age where chores are new and exciting. The work they do now will build the discipline to last their lifetimes.